


The Perplexing Puzzle of the Physicist and the Pythons of Pegasus

by midnightphoenix13



Category: Boa vs. Python (2004), Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 15:29:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightphoenix13/pseuds/midnightphoenix13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, the thought appeared of 'what if Dr. Emmet was an alias for Rodney so he could do Herpetology and then he took his snakes to Pegasus but it was all classified.' And this is what happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perplexing Puzzle of the Physicist and the Pythons of Pegasus

**Author's Note:**

> BTW, looking for a more concise title and better summary so if anyone wants to lend a hand, it would be mighty appreciated.

John sighed as he walked back in to the lab, slouching rather dramatically, and even pouting a little - although he would never admit it, even under torture, and he had looked first to see if anyone was even watching him in the first place… John sighed again, and raised a hand to his earpiece. 

“McKay, this is Sheppard, come in.” He had decided on a nice easy drawl, let’s not get carried away now. But when there was no answer, he quickly changed his mind. 

“McKay!” This time it was a barked command. He waited a breath, nothing. Okay, last resort - “Rodney”, drawing the single word out until it had too many syllables… still no reply. He huffed.  
“To hell with it,” he muttered, changing the frequency slightly.

“Control, this is Sheppard. Does anyone know the location of Dr McKay? He is not answering on coms.” 

“Sorry Colonel, he hasn’t been up here.” Chuck replied. “I’ll put a call out city wide.”

“Thanks.” John leaned against the wall, listening to the broadcast, before his radio crackled.

“Colonel?”

“Doc?” 

“Aye, it’s me. I heard you’re looking for Rodney?” Beckett’s Scottish brogue sounded slightly off to John, and his heart sank.

“He’s not in the infirmary, is he?” John tried to keep his tone casual, but Beckett seemed to pick up on his worry regardless.

“Ach, good lord no. I’m sorry for worrying you Colonel – I have an idea of where he may be though. I suppose he must of lost track of time, was he supposed to meet you somewhere?” John’s eyes narrowed with suspicion as Carson started to babble – the good doctor knew exactly where Rodney was. 

“Yeah, a couple of hours ago, at the gym,” he could feel his head starting to pound. “If you find him, Doc, tell him I’ll be in my quarters.” Clicking his radio off before he could get an answer, John headed away from the labs. He’d try to get in a quick nap before tackling the mystery of the disappearing Rodney. 

 

Carson breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the radio click in his ear, and continued on his way to where Rodney was hiding. He hated lying, he was terrible at it, and he was going to have a right go at Rodney for making it so he had to. Or at least that was the plan, right up until he entered the zoology lab and saw the look on Rodney’s face. 

It always hurt slightly, to disturb Rodney when he was working here. He looked peaceful, content, and moved with a grace and confidence that hardly any people ever got to see. On Atlantis, he and Elizabeth were the only two blessed by the sight and the knowledge of what Rodney was working on. 

Staying perfectly still, Carson watched as the other man held the deadly serpent in his hands, eye to eye. Terror held him now as the forked tongue flickered out, even knowing of the other’s expertise, but he was truly shocked as the vividly coloured creature nuzzled Rodney as if it were a house cat instead of a probably highly venomous snake. Rodney let out a soft coo, and stroked the scales along the back of the head.

“Hey Carson,” Rodney said quietly. He was strangely more aware of everything in this one room than he was anywhere else. “Is it time to go back to reality now?” 

“Rodney,” Carson stepped forward carefully. “The Colonel was looking for you.”

Rodney hummed lightly, before standing gently and placing the snake into a tank along the far wall. After one last pet, he locked the tank up tight and glanced distractedly at his watch.

“Ah, I missed the hand-to-hand lesson.” He sends a smirk towards Carson, who smiles back half-heartedly, knowing that it was on purpose rather than a miscalculation on his part. Rodney’s reflexes were faster than average and due to his side work being extremely classified; most people were not even allowed to know even that small bit of information. 

“Do you have anything else to do? Your Colonel has probably paced a hole in the floor of his quarters by now.”

“Just a quick feeding,” Rodney stated simply, but as he headed to a tank off to the side of an airlock door, Carson knew it wasn’t simple at all. He would never be comfortable watching Rodney placing his hand in with venomous snakes, so he turned away, listening for the sound of Rodney’s footsteps returning through the airlock from the large habitat on the other side. 

They fell into step next to each other as they made their way back into the heart of Atlantis.

“How is she doing?” Carson could hold the question in no longer, and Rodney glanced at him with amused blue eyes.

“She’s not as big as her mother yet, which isn’t at all surprising as she’s still quite young. But she seems to be dealing with the venoms a lot more easily.” Rodney said proudly.

“That’s good news, what about your side project?” Carson asked, although his attempt at feigning nonchalance was seen through straight away. 

“You saw when you came in.” Carson turned his head away as a blush lit his features, and Rodney smiled. “I knew it worked on Betty, but her genetics were engineered from the start. That was the first venomous species in the trial.” Carson looked at him sharply, but Rodney waved a hand in the air distractedly, his normal mannerisms returning without the lab environment. “I had the antivenin ready, and it worked perfectly well in the previous trials, but I hadn’t expected such an intense reaction. I think it affects the venomous species on a deeper level than the constrictors.”

“Would you like me to take a look at some of the samples?” Carson offered, mainly because some of the work his friend was doing was fascinating. 

“Sure, sure,” Rodney agreed distractedly, Carson could tell he was already making a list of the new tests to do and samples to take next time he had the chance.

“Although, Rodney, maybe you could also…” Carson trailed off, knowing that Rodney knew exactly what he was talking about when the other man sent him a sharp eyed glare. Crossing his arms over his chest, he huffed, staring at Carson for a moment.

“Fine,” Rodney uncrossed his arms and his hands settled on his hips. “What should I make it this time, hmm? A splinter?”

Carson smirked at that. When they had all been discussing Rodney’s secret project, he had been the one to bring up the idea of hypochondria – a perfect excuse to visit the infirmary often, without actually getting injured, so the two could do some of Rodney’s work in Carson’s genetics lab. At least while they found and cleared an area for Rodney to work in on his own, anyway.

“A headache and a request for sleeping pills should do the trick. Unless you are actually injured and you haven’t told me.” He raised an eyebrow slightly in the other’s direction. Rodney just glared back after tilting his chin up, not even dignifying that with a response. 

Carson chuckled, even with all the work they had done together in genetics, Rodney still turned his nose up at anything to do with medicine, or as he called it, voodoo.

They soon reached one of the main corridors and Rodney waved over his shoulder as he strode quickly away towards where they had been assigned quarters. Carson chuckled again as he headed in the opposite direction back towards the infirmary, wondering idly as he went how Rodney was going to deal with Colonel Sheppard’s wrath. A notion of thought flickered through his mind and he froze mid-step, he blinked before shaking his head and continuing on his way. On second thought, he really did not want to know.

 

Rodney sighed as he made his way to Sheppard’s quarters. He hated lying to John, they were best friends after all, but he was only part way through the paperwork needed to bring John in on the information about his side project. It was much easier when these things were dragged out into the open during a trip off-world, not that he wished for someone to get bitten or anything, but so far none of their missions had involved snakes in any capacity – Rodney wondered sometimes if they even existed in the Pegasus galaxy, many of them didn’t. Although a few planets had shown that the alterrans had brought some animal species to earth with them, the ones they had discovered had evolved quite differently. 

As he waved his hand over the door controls, he realised belatedly that he really should have used the time of the walk over here to develop an excuse rather than bemoaning his projects classified status. ‘Maybe John would understand if I mentioned it vaguely?’ He thought despondently.

The door slid open with a subtle whoosh, which normally brought a tiny smile to John’s face (Rodney classed it as his ‘the ancients were kind of awesome’ smile) but the glare he was currently sending Rodney’s way made the scientist want to shrivel up, or for a giant hole to open up underneath him. He might have even said it would be worth a wraith attack, but those were reserved for moments of Teyla’s anger and disappointment only. 

“McKay,” the way John said his name made him flinch slightly and look up at the other man with wide blue eyes.

“I’m sorry…” he blurted out, shocking them both and making John sigh, running his hand through his dishevelled (sentient in Rodney’s opinion) hair in exasperation.

“Ah, Rodney,” John drawled, and Rodney was glad for it; even though it irritated him it was something purely John. “You know, we arrange those lessons for a reason.” He continued and Rodney was wishing for a way to speed up the evils of paperwork so he could escape this conversation. “And you could have at least let me know that you weren’t available,” John pouted, although he would never admit it, and would flay anyone who pointed it out. “I waited for ages and then looked pretty much everywhere for you. Where were you anyway?” Rodney shifted slightly; it was time for the lying part.

“It’s classified.” Rodney almost choked on his tongue; he had not meant to say that. He watched as John’s eyes narrowed, searching Rodney’s face before he nodded.

“So…” John tucked his hands into his pockets, and rocked slightly on the balls of his feet. “…movie night?” Rodney snorted at the charming grin John shot at him.

“Sure, Sheppard, I’ll bring the popcorn.” Rodney turned and headed to his own quarters, intent on raiding his secret supply of Earth goodies – John deserved something extra for putting up with him.

“Rodney,” It completely lacked any hint of a drawl, and he stopped to look back. John’s face was completely serious and Rodney didn’t even need him to speak to know what he wanted to ask. 

“Soon John, I promise. I’m already working on it.” John nodded again, and waved his hand across the door controls. Rodney moved away again, with a soft ‘Later, Rodney’ just reaching him in the empty corridor.

 

John huffed as he stood on the gate platform. Rodney was late. Again. 

He looked around the gate room. Teyla and Ronon were both nearby, waiting patiently; well Teyla was, Ronon was playing with one of his knives. Elizabeth looked down towards them from the control room next to Chuck, although she seemed to be amused rather than irritated. 

John wanted to huff again, she was obviously in on Rodney’s secret, his classified secret, that John still didn’t know about, even though Rodney had promised to tell him soon, it had been two weeks already, surely he could know by now… John called a halt to his mental rant as he spotted the amused smile growing on Teyla’s face, checking his expression covertly – he was pouting, shit, he quickly changed it to a scowl. 

“This is your fault.” John heard the acerbic growl before he saw the scientist bustling towards them. He was adjusting his TAC vest while glaring at the Scottish doctor next to him, who almost had to jog to keep up with the other man’s angry strides. 

“Aye, Rodney,” Carson said placidly. “But thank you for your help anyway.” A hand waved dangerously close to his face but no more vitriol was directed towards him. “Maybe we could continue when you get back?” Carson asked hopefully, causing some strange looks to be sent in their direction. Rodney froze, before eyeing him speculatively. 

“We’ll see.” Carson grinned at his reply and Rodney sniffed, now striding towards the rest of SGA-1.   
Confused looks were traded between quite a few members of the expedition who heard the conversation, but it only caused John’s scowl to deepen. Carson was definitely in on it too.

“Rodney.” John drawled, and the scientist looked up from where he was double checking the fastening on his thigh holster.

“Blame Carson,” He stated sharply, going back to checking his gear. John switched his annoyed gaze to the other doctor on the platform.

“Sorry Colonel, it really was my fault, I needed him to look at something in the infirmary.” Seeing that Beckett actually looked genuinely contrite, John grunted softly.

“It’s fine Doc, try not to do it again, okay?” Carson nodded agreeably and moved off the platform. “Alright, everyone ready?” He got affirmative replies all round. “Good, dial it up Chuck.” They watched as the wormhole engaged and the event horizon erupted, moving forward once it had stabilised. 

“Good luck team,“ Elizabeth called, and John lifted a hand in acknowledgement as they stepped through the Stargate. 

 

The world they stepped onto was vastly different to most of the planets they had visited in the Pegasus galaxy so far, which seemed to resemble mid-west America. This place was more of a match to rainforests in Peru and Brazil, the hot and humid air making it slightly more difficult to breathe. 

Rodney tried to contain his glee, knowing this was the perfect habit for reptiles of all kinds, his sharp eyes already picking out signs in the trees and the leaf litter. He made a mental note to get Elizabeth something nice because of this surprise. He looked up, and noticed that the rest of his team were staring at him.

“What?” He asked defensively. Teyla raised an eyebrow, while Ronon crossed his arms. John just looked slightly concerned.

“”You’re not going to complain?” John asked, looking to the other two members of the team for back-up. “You always complain.”

“Seriously?” stated Rodney, incredulously, the others just nodded at him, waiting patiently. He sighed, and looked around for inspiration. “I can’t breathe, it’s too sticky here and this place is…” a hand was waved in the air as he searched for an appropriate word.

“Too hot?” suggested Teyla, but Rodney just shook his head.

“Full of dangerous creatures?” this one came from Ronon, a surprisingly long sentence from the usually taciturn man.

“Probably true,” conceded Rodney, “but not what I was looking for.”

“Too leafy,” John stated, and they all turned to stare at him.

“Too leafy… What are you, five? Ugh, that was lame Sheppard, even for you.” John just shrugged. “Anyway, are you all satisfied now? Can we get on with the exploring already?”

“Sure,” John nodded, and gestured for Ronon to go first. Rodney went after him, with Teyla following and John brought up the rear.

 

John couldn’t help but look over at Rodney every so often, the man had been acting slightly off ever since they had gated to this planet. It wasn’t in a bad way; he had seen those blue eyes light up when he had first viewed their surroundings, and now he was practically bouncing as he walked behind Ronon. 

An eyebrow rose up on John’s forehead and his head tilted to the side, as he studied Rodney for a moment. His tablet was held loosely in one hand, only being glanced at quickly before Rodney’s eyes flickered to something in the trees or on the ground. There was also a definite change in the way he moved. Usually, as Rodney almost never looked up from his tablet, he often tripped on the smallest things, while ranting about anything he could think of. Now, the hand not holding the tablet was tucked into the front pocket of his bdus, while he strolled along with perfect grace. 

Teyla, John saw, had also noticed; probably faster than he had, and was frowning ever so slightly at Rodney’s back. The set of Ronon’s shoulders was rigid, belying a tenseness that John thought must have been caused by Rodney’s complete uncharacteristic silence; as the big warrior could not see the scientist, he measured the situation behind him by Rodney’s level of antagonistic noise, now though, even his feet were quieter as they fell. 

Later, just for moment, John would blame the change in Rodney for what happened next.


End file.
